I've always felt separated, apart and different. I can't think of a single person who has ever fully understood me, short of my best friends in elementary Stacy and Shawn Borders and that was a good seven years ago. It seemed so quick those five years of elementary. It was a time of carefree bliss, when my biggest problems were those two laces that lay frayed and dangling behind untied shoes. What are we to do when forced into a single file line, destination “desk job” with matching cubicles? A herd of cows lumbering towards the slaughterhouse, mooo. Sitting behind our keyboards and computer screens we will waste what is left of our ever-shortening lives typing up sales reports and popping Tylenol to numb the constant pounding headaches. Time really does keep on slipping slipping slipping into the future.

“There’s no money, there’s no possessions. Only obsessions, I don’t need that shit.
Take my money, take my possessions. Take my obsessions, I don’t need that shit.”

Is that what I want? To walk head to tail to my demise, to a place where my own individuality is squashed and distorted until all that is left is a cheap suit, shiny shoes and a tie? Fuck that. I would rather die now then slowly rot away, and yet I find myself trotting down that path. I go to work so I can go to school; I go to school so I can get a better job to go to work, it’s a vitriolic cycle. For now I must do what I must, but mark my words either I will be something great, ruler of the world or maker of peace or something that everyone will remember me for, or I will go down trying. I WILL NOT go down without a fight, even if it means catching that mad cow disease, and taking some of you fuckers with me.

So walk your lines my friends, it’s all the same to me.

Until next time; live it up, because tonight the stars revolt.

-Chris-

YayyyYYYYY!!!YAYAY!YYAYAYAY!yY!!Y

I made B's in all of my college corses .. heres a finger for everyone who said I coulden't work full time and go to school at the same time ...

HELL ... YES ... BIOTCHh hefa;lkjdsf;lkjaefsd

=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D

New House.
New Band.
New Girl.
New Life.

It's been real guys. Much love to everyone who has ever supported me in anyway in my many times of need. I hope that maybe you'll IM me or something and we can get coffee sometime together. Stay cool,stay in school oh and don't do drugs ; P.

email: eatlessmeat@hotmail.com
AIM: farewellwelfare
LJ: Your here dummy.
Myspace: www.myspace.com/shadesofregret or it's something like that .. shrugs figure it out you lazy person!!

PEACE!!

Yay vacation!

3 days of no school , no work , no anything! Sweet and sour Jesus!

Okay everyone gather round and prepare to be amazed!

*Poof*

I curl into a ball in my bed with a smile on my face ...
Knowing that it will end eventually ...

Lunch At Tiffs: I hope you believe me.
Lunch At Tiffs: Because I believe in you, Chris.
farewellwelfare: wow ...
farewellwelfare: that gave me cold chills ..
Lunch At Tiffs: You're better than all of this; crappy job, school you don't enjoy, whack social/love life. I can tell, you were meant for so much more. And I know it sounds like I'm just talking out of my ass, but I really do believe that. From the moment I met you, no lie, I thought to myself.. "That kid is going somewhere. He's meant for something more than the norm."



At least one person believes in me, and that is enough to keep me going =)
Fuck you world, prepare to get beat into submission =)

Ask my why i'm smiling x.x

Come closer and i'll tell you ...

It's a secret ...

WET WILLY!

The cat pee'd and crapped in my bed .........

I don't like cats .......

It's amazing how lost puppies/dogs can find there way home... even when seperated by hundreds of miles...

It's amazing how without thinking, driving while trying to clear my head I end up here. Home. While I may live some place else .. This will always be my home..

I try to act like a man .. take on responsibilities and act all macho .. Sigh I feel much more like a mouse.. I am not a man, not yet anyways. If anything i'm a boy whos dipping his toe into the "adult pool" .. The pool i'm use to is always warm (I think we ALL know why the kiddie pool is warmer) while the adult world .. much colder .. with a diving board and even a deep end .. But theres lifeguards and I think thats what I find here..

Sneaking into the house and falling asleep crying on your sisters floor at 2 in the morning... some man I'm going to become. You Danielle are my life guard. You've kept me from drowning so many times before, and I just want to thank you for everything that you've ever done for me. Your always there. You always know what to do. I could tell you anything and not worry about ridicule or you laughing in my face .. I love you so much.. I'm guilty of not saying that enough to the people I really care about, but I really really...really am thankful for you. The hardest part of moving out hasn't been the extra hours at work ..or living off of meat, cheese and ramen noodle.. It's not being able to call you heffer and you call me chunky butt.. It's not being able to bother you when your trying to write a paper. I am always here for you as well.. While not across the hall any longer I am but a phone call away .. I love you danielle.. thank you so much for saving me so many times, even tonight.



I'll do my best .. I guess thats all I really can do .. Mouse or Man .. we'll see ...we'll see ...
Look across the river.. I want to show you the rabbits..

I don't feel like sleeping tonight ... So I wont ...

Anyone for Ihop

Peanut Curd: Well..... Today you'll feel bad... and tommorow possibily worse, and maybbe even worse after that, but after a while things will get better, whether you want to admit it or not you'll meet someone new and thus the great circle of life continues, but Dad.... don't we eat the antelope? So see Simba... when we die our bodys go into the glass and the antelope eat the grass....

... WTF danielle ....

Damn .... I love that girl ....

Whoever said to take it on the chin
Whoever said that good guys always win
Has never seen the sorry state I'm in
A victim of romanticide again

Whoever said to get down on your knees
Give your ground, or try your best to please
Has never seen my lonely misery
A victim of romanticide, that's me


Today is a new day. So far not good, but not bad.
Hopefully i'll go to sleep smiling rather then hugging a pillow for comfort.
So until tonight I guess we wont know.
Have a good day ... seems kind of an odd thing to say ...
So lets scratch good and say, have a day.
I hope you have a day.

Shes strong...

She's stronger then me ...

I'm crumbling all over the place ... like an oreo in milk ...

This is 10 times worse then before ...

I miss her =/

Fine heidy ...

Yeah you knew I would be back ... it must have been what ... a couple hours sience the last update?
Truth be told i'm to use to lj to just give it up ... heh ..

Acke .... Well I really thought I was almost done .... But old feelings just keep coming back ....
I'm haunted in my dreams not by ghost or monsters but by things that i've done and things that have been done to me.

People are suppose to move on ... ... People are suppose to be stronger then this ....

What is wrong with me ....

Well .. okay so i'm not as happy as I thought I was ..
I still think about her every day ..
I don't know I feel as if I try to move forward .. But i'm stuck in rewind ..
And now this ..... silent treatment thing is going on ..
Feels like crap not being able to call her up just because ..
Feels like crap seeing her name online and not messaging ..
Feels like crap...
So i'm more happy then I was ..
I still need time to heal as well ..
The thing is I don't want to ever take my band-aids off to see if the wounds are gone ..
I don't want to heal ..
=/
whats a young stud to do ..
She says she wont read this journal anymore ..
So there is no point in writing in it anymore ..
Of course i'm sure i'll be back in a couple days =/ because thats how I roll ..
But until then it's goodbye forever ... or at least awhile

Okay okay so i'm back.
I'm kind of hiding in my room as landlord is here =P
Life fucking ROCKS ... I'd even go as far as to say Life fucking BOLDER!
Humm .. i've my own room .. and food is plentiful ..
I get to hang out with kenny whenever he comes over here and that is cool ..
I've recently gotten into contact with all kinds of wonderful peoples !!
I get to come and go as I please and have a coooool lepord print key!
Watched movies, playing games, ran threw some .. kohls place and just hang out... ehhhh all kinds of shizat ... Lisa and Anthony are by far the coolest people in the world. Aside from me of course!
Kenny, Lisa, Anthony and I all worked for like an hour .. on an old pipe they found in the backyard shed thing. I am very proud of our work.....

Welp work calls.
URP i'm late! bye!





Well there is one negitive I guess
Forever or at least a little while? Forever and a little while are no where near the same. So which is it.
Time keeps on slipping slipping slipping .. into the future .. as I slip into your past.

I am going to take a break from LJ ... a week or so ...

Take it easy gangsta ...

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BWAHHAHAHAHAH